#happymetal Mee

Yes, I am a restless soul, a hopeless romantic and an intense and deep overthinker.  I often find myself daydreaming and writing the lyrics of future songs, feeling like being in a music video sometimes. And lately I found myself discovering a brand new side of my voice and lyrical expression, a different side of my musical journey and what an amazing new world of sound and connection it started to be. I am in a brand new band: ALPHA Q. We play METAL, yes…METAL! I never thought that I would say this but yes, man, I am as metal as it gets!


I always listened to it, felt connected to so many metal bands and artists but I never thought I would be able to be in one. But the one person who believed in me and my potential and skills to do this is an amazing musician and friend- Waqas, who I am proud and honoured to be in a band with and write music with. He believed I was able to from the beginning and I trusted his opinion. My band mates are wonderful people and I cannot wait to share all that we have going on with the world.

I am still amazed by this year’s changes and how my life turned around again just so I realize where I am going, what I am able to do and how much strenght and love I have.

On this day I see clearly that everything happens for a reason.


I cannot rest

Cannot stand still 

I am a tree

Up on that hill

With roots so deep

I stand alone

I am for real

I grow on stone.


Mee, myself and MeeRah


BURNING is a story about passion, about that desire and longing we have for someone who is far away, or maybe even unreachable, but yet so close.

..about that moment when you realize that you have been color blind and been living your life in black and white until you saw it all suddenly in color.

I have written it some years ago in a room with Eddie Gross, feeling every word, every single tone and everything stopped, because a song was being born.

BURNING is something so intimate and honest because it describes a state so vulnerable.

I love its brand new vibe and sound to it created by Robaer and Betty Beat Records DJs and the images and atmosphere created by David Kusztos from Geartopia video production.

A big thank you also to Cristi Ionescu, the young man with clear eyes and a beautiful soul!


You can listen to the song here:

More like Mee, less like you

“I put that record on…you know what song. And I let it play again and again. You’re in every line…”

I’m going through the memories of this past year that tonight is coming to an end and I am asking myself: WHAT were the lessons, WHAT were the blessings and WHO AM I NOW?

I learned that having expectations can only bring you to your kness, shattered by your own illusions and fears. Have none and the land of freedom is calling.

I learned that the truth never fails to come out, that true love has no logic, no age and it can hit you like a bullet. I learned that I can face my darkest fears, smile at them and have a glass of wine while I’m at it.

BUT MOST OF ALL I learned that FORGIVENESS is the most powerful weapon we have.

Looking back on this year I feel the need to count all the blessings I received and to raise my glass to life and the blood running through our veins.

Being able to make the music that is in my heart with the people who feel the same as I do and are my friends, working with artists and voices that inspire and motivate, having the opportunity to coach and be part of an amazing team and getting to know an inspiring artist like our MASTER! MASTER! MASTER! are some of the many blessings this year. And 2017 was a blessed year because a little ray of light called Liv Nola came into my best friend’s life and I am proud to be her godmother.

Yes, I am blessed for having all of YOU! You know I don’t need to make a list of your names because, if you are part of my life and touched my life in some way or another, I know I already told you how much you mean to me.

SO WHO AM I TODAY after all these lessons and blessings?


[upgraded version but work still in progress]








Rivers deep and mountains high

I’d bring them to their knees, if I

Could only know the reasons why

You chose to fall from grace.


A shadow in your sun, I hide

And watch you burn me from inside,

Boil thoughts of vengeance on my mind

And songs of love and hate.



And as the days and nights fly by

With no answers to the questions asked

I feel a stillness in my mind

And let the cold winds freeze my heart.





When angels and demons meet

I felt you underneath my skin when mild or angry winds would blow. The dust would touch my pale cheek to let me know you’re there. I heard your voice whispering to me the words you are so afraid to say. I saw your shadow following me like a guardian angel, protecting me and watching over me. I smelled the salty sea and sand, the sunburned skin and dusty roads. I tasted the late night wine and trembling lips of desire.

I’ve slain the demons, kissed the angels in you but there are armies of them and only one of me.

Memories at war, in dreams we meet, a broken heart accepts defeat.


There are no wrong turns in the journey of life. There are only choices.

Whatever is wrong for one moment, can be the right choice for a future lesson to be learned. Whatever feels right in another moment, can turn out to cause trouble or pain at some other point in life. So what is right and what is wrong when it comes to choices?

I believe in the power of intuition and I learned that if we listen closely to it and let ourselves be guided by it, we will choose exactly THAT what will help us grow and become the person we are deep inside or dream to be. No matter how hard the lesson or how beautiful the moment, when we listen to our intuition, we are headed in the right direction.

Intuition has guided me the past year, it has given me the fuel to continue to fight for what I believe in and what and I love. It has whispered to me to take the “road less traveled”, that path that seemed so hard, that journey through the woods.  It felt like I was fighting against all odds,  against society, against time, against demons in our heads and all the prophecies of failure. I never stopped listening to it because I knew there was something more to learn out if this beautiful yet heart consuming lesson of trust and unconditional love.

So, thank you 2016 for teaching me so many things and bringing the most beautiful and amazing feelings into my life and welcome brand new 2017 with all your future blessings and magic.

May you listen to whispers of  your own inner voice and follow it!

Happy New 2017


Photo Credits: Eduard Gross

Keep Me Alive

I found this going through some of my old, wrinkled pages with lyrics written on them.

As as I found it, I remembered that I wrote this for my father. Writing always kept me going and processing.

It also has a melody, a beautiful one actually and one I would like to play that again one day. But for now I want to share the lyrics with you ’cause maybe there are some of you out there who can relate to the story and know what it’s like to lose someone so soon and what a struggle it is to “keep them alive”.

Another morning awakes

To fix the smile on her face

Putting on make up to be

The girl they all want to see.

She saves the world with her smile

Keeping all pain inside

But in her head she can hear

His voice so loud and so clear


“You’ve got me

I’ve got you

Don’t let me go!

Just keep

Inside you

Where I am home…again”

Another story to tell

About heaven and hell

About what’s right and what’s wrong

About the weak and the strong

She’ trying to keep him alive

Stop him from saying good-bye

But as he held are small hand

He closed his eyes and he said:

“You’ve got me.

I’ve got you

Now let me me fly

But keep me

Inside you

Where I’m alive… again”




Nothing and Everything

Through the woods of my mind
I search for a place to hide
A dim lighted space with flowers and memories of tomorrow
A shadowed garden
where you lay down with me in the green grass
A refuge where I can be me and you can be you,
Where I lean my head on your shoulder and then rest my cheek on your chest
A place where time stands still and happiness exists more than for a blink of an eye
Nothing and everything
mixed into something greater than anything.

I only miss you when I’m breathing,

no worries ’cause I hold my breath

And when the world has lost all meaning

I can dive deep into the depth.

Bricks and stones

She is holding bricks in her hand. She is holding stones. She has built a fortress.

Big, beautiful big walls to protect her, to let no intruder in but keep them away. They make her feel strong and in control and from up there, in that high tower, she is looking down and feeling that no one can hurt her.

She has spent years and years building them, using the strongest bricks, measuring each stone, matching them and knowing how vulnerable she can get without their sheltering.

But somehow it started to feel lonely up there, in that cold and shadowed place she has built for protection, so she was wondering how it would be like to see what’s outside the walls.

Fearing the unknown and the pain that might come with someone coming close and seeing her without her armour and without her mask on.

And then, one morning, she opened up her eyes and felt the rays of sun hitting her face. The sun found that little window she left open and it invaded her room with light. She felt that she needed to open that window as wide as possibile and let more sunshine in. It was shining so bright and even the darkest and coldest rooms filled with warmth.

But the walls were too high and shadowing everything, so soon enough the sun was gone.

She couldn’t get her mind off that warm feeling, that light, she wanted all that again, it made her feel alive. Tempting, bright and beautiful. How could she ignore that?

So, one by one and brick by brick she started breaking down the walls, opening up her heart and soul, fearing nothing, trusting and believing that the sun can do no harm, feeling only the warmth she needed to not be cold anymore.

And there she was. Out there. Fearless. She stared fearlessly into the sun, laid down all her masks, all her armour, naked soul and bare skin.

Now she is holding bricks in her hands. She is holding stones.

Sunburnt and dry. All her walls are back high.


Let’s face it: the thing we are all looking for is the feeling of being free to be who we truly are.

No mask on, no walls up, no fake smiles. Just the pure freedom of being who we are, of loving for real and being loved for the truth and the core of the things that make us unique. Being loved for loving ourselves. The freedom and comfort of being silly, sometimes weak or emotional and at other times mad or irrational, the freedom of being perfectly imperfect and flawed.

We are temporarily here and yet we behave as if we would live forever.

We are unique and still we try to imitate and be just like everyone else.

We are glass but act as if we were made of stone.

And when something stronger than us hits us, when the impossible becomes possible, when the unspoken and undreamed of becomes our life, we don’t know how to keep it.





The Place You Hide


Who are you when you’re alone?

Does your blood flow through flesh and bone?

Or your heart carved in ice and stone?

Forbidden feelings, never shown.


Stared in the deepness of the night

Trying to make everything right

Struggling to surf against the tide

Still in your eyes my dark turns light.


There are no answers to be found

Outside yourself, must search deep down

Inside the place you hide the most

Of all your secrets and your ghosts.


Set them free, so you can see

Who you are and fly with me!